longing to return to the country I'm ashamed of

this post is made possible by alix's computer
Benni, this is what I was writing on my wrist, that day at Sandø.

When people ask me where I'm from, I always say Texas.
I say it proudly and without hesitation.

The next handful of sentences, though, often involve me convincing the other person that I am a reasonable and intelligent person, unlike what they might think of Texans.

A typical scenario looks like this:

• Where are you from?
• Texas.
• Really?
• Yes.
• ...Isn't George Bush from Texas?
• Yes ...but both his parents are from the northeast, and he went to boarding school and college in the northeast, so he's not completely from Texas. It's mostly an image he likes to promote.
  
• Oh, I see.

At this point, I feel the other person silently decide not to ignore everything I have to say, which is always a nice feeling.

Often, though, getting beyond the stereotype involves more than simply an acknowledgment of the facts - With many people, I need to reaffirm their disapproval of the States, as if I was saying something like this:

No you're not wrong to shame my country.
Yes, I feel ashamed of it.
No I don't always fit in there.
Yes, it is my home.

And, through this simple declaration of shame, I become a real person in their eyes... It's fine, but I'm getting tired of it.

I'm ready to go back, so that I can start doing something about it.

To begin: Specific things I'm ashamed of include (but are not limited to)

• mainstream media,
• the criminal justice system (particularly the prisons), and especially
• the relationship between business and state

I'm ashamed of the wars as well, which (I think) are symptoms of larger problems that run deep into the hearts of many, many Americans.

So to those who disagree, lets talk. Please, lets talk.

It's long past time for me to speak, and I have spent enough time in wealthy, educated places where people already agree with me.

I'm ready to go back and talk about this. I'm ready to go home.

4 nights on a private island, then a trip to the western fjords

this post is made possible by guttorm's computer and benni's computer

3 generations ago, a group of friends decided to purchase all of the land on a small island called Sandø, which is very close to Tjøme on the Oslo fjord. The Island is owned by the families of the friends who originally bought it, and Liev is one of the members of one of those families.

Liev has a daughter named Eva, and the two of them spend their summers together at Sandø, inviting friends to join them for a week or weekend at a time.

One of these friends is Benni, who was invited to spend the last week with Eva at Sandø. When Benni realized that I would be so close to Sandø during my wwoofing experience (I was at Tjøme), she suggested that I come visit. At the last minute, I decided to delay my trip to the west by one day, and I went with Benni to Sandø, with plans to return the next day.

As Benni was ferrying me to the island with her friend Gunnar, she told me that she has never left Sandø on the day she was planning to leave.

Gunnar nodded in agreement, "Often, I'll come down for the weekend, and I plan to leave on Sunday night... usually I leave on Monday morning, though."

Even upon breathing the air at Sandø, I understood what they were talking about. In many ways, it reminds me of Bonnie and Karim's home in Palo Alto: no one in a hurry, everyone helping with dinner... from catching the fishes to washing the dishes, Sandø is beautiful.






Four days later, I was finally on a bus, headed west with Ludvik. He had needed to stay in Oslo to finalize an apartment deal, so it was actually him who postponed the trip the extra 3 days, days that became some of the most beautiful days of my life.


We went to his farm in the west, and it was beautiful. While there, I wrote and wrote and wrote, and it felt so wonderful to write, so I kept writing.




And now I am back in Oslo, staying with Eva and Benni, and tomorrow going to Alix's for my last night in Norway. I have really loved being here. I have really really loved being here.

Tjøme

this post is made possible by Marianne's computer
This week I have been on the island of Tjøme, working at a small and beautiful farm, mostly painting in a greenhouse. I discovered this farm through an organization called WWOOF.

Tomorrow I will go to the west, to visit Ludvik's grandparents' farm for a while... it has been so nice to be (mostly) away from computers.

Oslo

This post is made possible by Alix's computer
Yesterday I saw a golden beggar wearing a Will Rogers mask, so that was pretty cool.

Other than that, during the last week-and-a-half I have reconnected with my home on the internet, spent an entire day at Frognerpark, started reading some books, finished one of them, caught up on sleep, and (most importantly) made some new friends.

I'll start by talking about the friends

This is Alix

She has let me stay in her home and use her computer and stuff, and I helped her pick berries for an afternoon. Alix went to Berkeley in the late '70s, and she has been working with computers from then until now, so she has lots of interesting stories to tell.


And this is Alf Martin

He works with Alix in the software company that is based at Alix's house. In this picture, he is using a vice to take apart a puzzle that I really messed up badly.

I have been hanging out with younger people, too.

These are some members of the couchsurfing community in Oslo

We had 2 big barbecues in Frognerpark, where I met some really interesting people, like Benni.

This is Benni - she works in a cemetery next to Frognerpark

She and I have shared some really interesting conversations about death and life and religion and people, and she let me surf her couch so that I'm not too much of a burden on Alix.

And this is Ludvik

I met him at Quaker meeting last week, and we have also shared some interesting conversations. Ludvik and I are considering a trip to his grandparents' farm in the west of Norway, and I am really hoping that it happens.

Tomorrow I am heading to a farm in the south, where I will be closer to nature and farther from technology.


I think it will be very good to see something new.

Chapter 2

this post is made possible by Alix´s computer, somewhere east of Oslo
I´m eating my first clif bar in over a week, and Michael is not here to share it with me. This is the beginning of chapter 3.

What happened to chapter 2? Chapter 1?

Chapter 1 was the journey with Michael through Denmark and Germany; Chapter 2 is the trip from which we just returned.

This post is about Chapter 2.

We went to Svalbard and back, with 17 members of our family, and last night was the first time I saw darkness outside since before my family arrived in Europe (a week ago).

I feel like I have a lot to say in this post.




By no one´s standards can Granddad be called an extravagant man. He and Grandmom still live in the house that they bought when my dad was a boy, and they haven´t remodeled it once. Just 2 days ago, we were trying to convince him that it´s time to fill in their old and leaking pool, and maybe even build a new one - it was quite the uphill battle, because it´s just not his nature to spend money on himself.

Every summer, he assures us that he donates more money to charity than he spends on our annual family trips to places like China, Alaska and Norway.

It´s impossible to talk about Chapter 2 without talking about Granddad.

And it´s impossible to talk about Granddad without talking about his faith in Jesus.

And I realize that this could develop into a book, and it probably should. Right now, though, I think it´s wisest to bring this post to a close. There´s only so deep that you can go with these things.

Michael and I met up with the rest of our family in Denmark, and we traveled together to Svalbard. This morning I said goodbye to everyone in Oslo, and for the month of August, I´ll be in and around Norway alone. It´s going to be interesting.